I feel weaker as the days pass, not stronger. Been having siezures and muscle spams badly. This Saturday was hell. Today is too. I feel so weak and tired, dizzy since walking Duke. Even eating food she gives me doesn't make me feel better.
I'm scared and there's no one to talk to. She keeps to herself and i hate being a burden to her. I've never been this sick for this long, never felt this weak and tired. I don't know what to do anymore. I know what's wrong now but that's little comfort.
I don't know how much time I have in this world. I do know how I'm going to die, just not when. I feel like such a burden on people here, and I hated collasping in frotn of everyone at circle. I hate hositals but been there twice in one month. At least they actually looked for a problem this time around. CAT scans are difficult when you can't stop shaking. I nearly fell asleep in the machine.
I get why they called 911. Wasn't out of spite but concern. I hate feeling so weak and tired all the time. The clearer my head gets, the more frustated I feel.
Been so exhasuted. Can't stay awake and need to look for a job. Want to workout but don't have the strenght. I don't have the time to deal with this illness. The truth is I haven't been feeling bad for months. Just never said much. Its why I got the doc appointment. I wanted them to look at the fibroids in my uterus and make sure they wheren't cuasing health problems. Now I'm beginning to wonder.
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