Sometimes I don't feel like I am worth anything to anyone. I try making plans to spend time w friends and either get no answer or if I'm lucky get told it's not a good time. I'm growing weary of asking anymore. How many times do I keep getting rejected before giving up? I'm nearly to that point. It hurts to feel like I'm not worth anyone's time.
I miss the game nights. Hanging around and talking, or taking a drive somewhere random. I miss the visits which are always a welcome distraction from the monotony of daily living. I just miss my friends.
I feel worthless, tired and depressed all the time. It's hard to even find the motivation and energy to get out of bed anymore. All i want to do is sleep and pretend i dont even exist. Would anyone even miss me if i was gone? I don't think anyone would really care. "No one here likes you, they just tolerate you." How true has that statment been my entire life? is that how everyone secrectly feels about me?
I wish this depression would dissolve and go away. Leave me in peace where did everything in life go so horribly wrong?
i dont know what to do anymore.i just keep pacing around restlessly and spend half the nights.roaming these same roads thinking of a thousand ways to end everything. End it all and stop this eternal suffering. i cant keep letting these intrusive thoughts live inside my head forever.
It might not get any better in life. But it can get different. And sometimes different can be good enough to qualify as better. I desperately need things to become different then this hellscape i live in.