Everything's fine. . .

I keep hearing the question everyday anymore. "Are you alright?" "Are you good?" So much concern in thier eyes when they ask. So much worry.

I don't even know how to respond. Becuase no, I'm not good. Not by a long shot. However, I can't explain what's bothering me, why my mood is so jacked lately. I can't bring myself to get excited about role playing, the fire ceromony I asked for, or even the water healing ceromony that's coming up this weekend.

This is one of those days when I don't have the strenght to pretend I'm ok. Becuase I'm not, and I'm so exhausted of faking it. Exhausted in so many ways. I told my friend ealier this week I was good and he playfully called me a liar. He just has no clue how right he actually was.

I'm tired of lying, so now just tell them nothing, or that I don't want to talk about it. Living with empaths means that they know somethings wrong, even if they don't push me to talk to them about it. I just don't know what to say, except to ask for a hug. Yet I hesitate to even ask that much.

I suffer a prison of my own mind, poisioned by depression and pain. I can't muster up the energy to break these chains right now. I need to rest and recover.