Workouts are rough.

How is it that a series of such simple movements done in the course of an hour create so much pain and soreness? My muscles are still aching. Its not like I've slacked off while he's been gone with the workouts either! If anything, he'd probably be upset if he knew how much I used the barbell without him there to spot me. I do need him to spot me on that combo exersie though. I nearly dropped it on that last set, and that would have been a bad day. I gotta be more careful about it. Breaking a rib or my colarbone due to stupidity would set me back way further then just using the lower weights will while he's gone. Esp with these new intense workouts, I really can't go up in weight right now like I wanted.

 Hell, maybe it was the extra twenty pounds on the barbell that is messing with me more then the workout itself. That was a dumb move on my part. I should have known better, since 60 pounds gives me problems on the bicep curl. Its gonna take time to build strenght.  I just need to stop getting impatient with it.

I like the new workouts though. They are kinda rough while we do them, but at least I know these ones are working. I'm kinda glad he brought these home with him and is willing to share them with me.

I kinda love it. I am actually starting to feel and see a difference in my biceps and waist. Slowly but surely I'm slimming down. I kinda wish the results where faster. I've been seriously thinking about trying it, or at least some sort of calisthenics workout in the morning. No idea what exactly I'd do at this point though. I guess the first step to that would be to actually wake up in the morning though, and to go to sleep at night. Sometimes I feel kinda guilty about sleeping so late that he comes home and offers me coffee to wake me up.

I gotta figure out what the hell's wrong though. I can't keep walking around feeling like a zombie due to this inability to eat normal amounts of food. I don't get it. I feel hungry, all the time anymore. I can't eat. I eat food and I feel repulsed or sickly. Yet I constantly feel light headed, exhausted, and even hungry from not eating. Coffee, water, and the protien shakes are the ONLY things that don't affect me like that, and beef for some strange reason. I ate the steak no problem. I ate the beef the other day, no issue. If I had the money, I'd just buy a good quality meal replacement shake until whatever this is goes away so I don't wind up starving all day. Only reason I finished the pizza today was I was so hungry I just didn't care if I got sick on it.

Whatever it is, I gotta fix it. I can't keep doing this. Its not healthy. I wanted to work on portion control, not go overboard with it! 3 to 5 bites per meal is not enough food. Even I know that much. I don't know.  I know it was the salty taste of the meat in the turkey meatloaf that set me off today. I need to start keeping track of what I'm eating and see if there's a correlation to what's in the food and how I'm feeling. Maybe something specific is setting off my inability to eat properly.