FML

I'm dumb I guess. Had the audacity to actually think things are going to go well for me for once in this miserable life.  I live in too toxic of an environment. Between the hateful neighbors who have nothing better to do then complain to the landlord about anything and everything I do, and the damn problems with getting this loan I just can't come out ahead. I feel like I'm drowning in despair and emptiness.

I'm so tired of trying to make my life better and it just getting worse. Now I can't even have the few friends who would actually visit me over anymore because of toxic neighbors who can't mind thier own business and worry about themselves. I hate this place. Even an expensive rental house in town would be better than this hell hole. I need to find somewhere new to live. I need to find somewhere I can feel safe and at home.

i'm tired of just haunting places I inhabit. I want somewhere I can actually feel I belong

Its so hard finding people to talk to. I feel like such a burden on those around me when I ask them to take time out of their day and come over to hang out with me. I'm so hesitant to ask for company.
I'm so exhausted. Mentally and physically. I feel like a rubber band stretched too thin but just won't snap to relive the pressure.