Sitting in my car in below freezing temperatures with a warm cup of coffee in my hand, and this is the first time since I was dropped me off here that I have felt comfortable and relaxed.
I see the thread of where I would fit back into this town spread out before me. So frayed . . . and the more my friends try to convince me to stay, the more distance I want to put between myself and them.
I'm not happy here. I never was aside from a few brief moments here and there. It would be a mistake to attempt to move back here.
Oh I wouldn't break. I'm too strong for that. But this place shatters confidence. It seeps under your skin and drains your energy. I see it in people's eyes. Hope comes here to die, slowly and painfully.
I don't know what opportunities will present themselves in Hawaii, or fully how staying w them would turn out. But I'd much rather take my chances in Hawaii then stay here where I already know how the story plays out.
I only hope I don't have to wait long for a phone call and that plane ticket to manifest.
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