A lot of my friends in my new area don't really know this, although I think a couple are beginning to suspect, but I've a rather lonely and depressed being. I need somewhere to vent this idea and frustrations out, without the judgement that comes from family who read or hear about this.
Being a depressed individual is a lonely business, not to mention frustrating and maddening to those around you. No one wants to hear that you're having a bad day, or that you're in a bad mood. The only proper answers to respond to the question "how are you" is "I'm fine." or "Pretty good, yourself?" We throw these generic answers our like a shield around us of good feeling to create a false bubble around us that everything's fine, even if it isn't.
You just can't say, "Its been a terrible day," or "I'm really annoyed and angry right now and standing here in front of you simply to get away from the drama at home." No one really cares how you really feel, they just want to feel good that they can show empathy by asking you. Its a shock when you tell them the truth, because then they feel obligated to try and help you, or at least respond and listen to your problem for a moment, and let you vent, which makes them terribly uncomfortable. (Which is really therapeutic in itself.) Go ahead, try it sometime, just tell a random stranger the truth if you're having a shitty day and watch em squirm.
But anyway, I guess its really my fault that I"m lonely. That's what happens when you burn your bridges. I don't make excuses for my depression, because its been a part of my life for so long that its what I know and am used to. If this bothers you, feel free to move on to someone else's happy go lucky blog.
This is not a blog for the vast majority of the public. Its going to be comprised of many random depressing thoughts that run through my head during the day, and as well as the problems and frustrations I struggle with. I don't want therapy, b/c this is going to be my way of reaching out and getting my own therapy. I also don't want my family and many close friends to figure out who this is, because I don't want to hear their judgement and disparaging remarks on my subject material.
Most people keep a blog of their happy moments, of things they want to share. They want to keep the positive out there and forget that there are negative aspects of life out there. Well, this blogs going to bash those idea down.
Venting makes people feel better sometimes, and this is what it is. I invite you to vent in the comments if you're having a bad day as well, but keep your judgement and your prejudice of me to yourself. Its my blog. If you don't like it, don't read it. No one's forcing you to sit here through my "childish whining."
Being a depressed individual is a lonely business, not to mention frustrating and maddening to those around you. No one wants to hear that you're having a bad day, or that you're in a bad mood. The only proper answers to respond to the question "how are you" is "I'm fine." or "Pretty good, yourself?" We throw these generic answers our like a shield around us of good feeling to create a false bubble around us that everything's fine, even if it isn't.
You just can't say, "Its been a terrible day," or "I'm really annoyed and angry right now and standing here in front of you simply to get away from the drama at home." No one really cares how you really feel, they just want to feel good that they can show empathy by asking you. Its a shock when you tell them the truth, because then they feel obligated to try and help you, or at least respond and listen to your problem for a moment, and let you vent, which makes them terribly uncomfortable. (Which is really therapeutic in itself.) Go ahead, try it sometime, just tell a random stranger the truth if you're having a shitty day and watch em squirm.
But anyway, I guess its really my fault that I"m lonely. That's what happens when you burn your bridges. I don't make excuses for my depression, because its been a part of my life for so long that its what I know and am used to. If this bothers you, feel free to move on to someone else's happy go lucky blog.
This is not a blog for the vast majority of the public. Its going to be comprised of many random depressing thoughts that run through my head during the day, and as well as the problems and frustrations I struggle with. I don't want therapy, b/c this is going to be my way of reaching out and getting my own therapy. I also don't want my family and many close friends to figure out who this is, because I don't want to hear their judgement and disparaging remarks on my subject material.
Most people keep a blog of their happy moments, of things they want to share. They want to keep the positive out there and forget that there are negative aspects of life out there. Well, this blogs going to bash those idea down.
Venting makes people feel better sometimes, and this is what it is. I invite you to vent in the comments if you're having a bad day as well, but keep your judgement and your prejudice of me to yourself. Its my blog. If you don't like it, don't read it. No one's forcing you to sit here through my "childish whining."
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