Alone

I don't feel good anymore. So stressed and exhausted and no one to talk to. Its really lonely when you look around for a shoulder to cry on and suddenly realize there are none. I look at the food in my cabinet and think to myself I'd rather starve then eat this. I have no interest in things anymore, not even my favorite hobbies. Im burned out.

I think I'm getting worse. The depression has been well out of hand lately. Medicating isn't helping, esp when you stop taking them. I might as well not even start them again since i lost medical insurance. I don't think they really helped anyway

I'm tired of feeling so depressed. So vague and so empty and dead inside. Maybe I really just am too toxic for other people. I mean really? Who wants to be around someone who routinely slices their own arm or leg? Who wants to be around this depression and self hate? No one. No one should have to deal with me and my demons. an echo of a ghost haunting this exhausting life anymore. i just want to feel like myself again, even if that self is engulfed in paim and dispair. at least id be me. i just want to feel like I matter and even exist, because I dont right now.