I feel like the only thing I do well is push people away. Even those I don't want to lose to begin with. Seems to be the only thing I'm capable of doing anymore. Guess my mental issues are too much for people to deal with. The help I tried to get was too little too late. Therapy would be great if it wasn't coupled with drugs that make me feel vague and despondent.
No more inviting friends to live with me. It just causes pain. I'll live on my own and get used to my own company and take care of my own issues. It seems like I'm only good enough to live with when people are hard up and need a place to stay for free, but not when they are doing well enough to actually help pay the bills.
I just need to pack up my stuff and find a cheaper place to live. Some small one bedroom place somewhere that I can actually afford on my own. Somewhere I can have Duke and some peace and quiet. I miss feeling like people actually want to be around me, instead of just putting up with me.
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