Prozac doesn't work

 I feel suspended in pain and anguish again. I tried to trust someone and he betrayed me. How does one trust someone who's already proven they are willing to cheat and lie about your relationship with them? Has he been lying to me the entire time we were dating as well?

Nowadays I feel empty. Dead inside. No one to talk to. All my days are long and listless. I have no energy to do anything. I don't like living like this. I don't want to live alone and feel rejected and lonely. I don't want to live with this pain anymore.

I finally reached out. Asked for help, and they gave me medication to take. It doesn't do much. Except make me feel sickly and dissociative. Like I'm not even here anymore. I don't matter. I don't really exist. Maybe I'm a figment of my own imagination. Just a ghost who filters through the mind. When does the pain of this existence end? I'm a prisoner of my own mind. the demons have taken over. But nobody knows. Doubt anyone even cares.

Heartache

Just once. I want to go to bed without feeling worthless and depressed. Without constantly turning the day over in my mind and not thinking of what I should have said or done differently.

Just once I don't want to regret my choices and my actions. I would just like to rest.

This is a rough night. There's nothing actually wrong at the moment. I just feel horrible. Depression sucks. Its like having a constant companion with you all the time that you'd rather never have met, but can't get rid of.

It whispers things in your ear you don't want to hear. So often and so many times that you slowly begin to wonder what's actually true anymore. All my faults, mistakes and failings are always roaming through the back of my mind.

Does anything I do with my life even matter?