Misery

I was happy in Hawaii and wished I'd have stayed there. Now I haunt IL again with only the hope of obtaining a better paying job so I can move out on my own. Roommate's addiction is going to result in him coming home to an empty apartment,

I'm killing myself working a terrible shift b/c I can't find anything better. I want the job I put in for. I want one that I can work normal hours and make a good paycheck, and that I won't lose due to an car accident, or other freak of nature event.


Hell who am I kidding? I know what I want and I'll remain single the rest of the my life b/c I can't find a single available man who fits the bill. I might as well give up on the idea.

I'm so depressed. I hate this town. I hate this life and I don't want to be here anymore. Why didn't I just die last year when I hemorrhaged. Why all this suffering and pain?

every time I try to improve my circumstances something comes along and sabotages it. I just for once want a break. A decent job, my own place that I don't have to fight with anyone over and a way to enjoy my life and try to deal with being lonely.

I wish I'd have swallowed my pride and asked a friend if I could live with him. At least I'd still be in Hawaii with my previous job and able to make ends meat. Not sitting here hurting and in pain.