Circles

I almost feel as though my life isn't where it was supposed to be. A new path, forged through pain and torment, has opened ahead of me. Without thinking I wander, the purpose unknown.

Ahead only darkness, behind painful illumination. Words better left unsaid hang within memory, painful reminders of days long past. Isolation has been my path for so long. Its hard to open up and connect with others sometimes.

I came to Hawaii with nothing but the clothes on my back, and what I could pack into an army bag. I was homeless again, and at one of the lowest points in my life. Spiritually, mentally, and physcially. I left a great job earlier in the year and wandered back into a black hole. A pit of my own making, through my oaths to others. Never again do I want to ever feel that helpless. That hopeless. Spent the lsat of my money on a plane ticket to Hawaii, only able to afford half the price, the other half covered by my sister.

Damaged goods, is what she called me. I didn't feel damanged, and was insulted by the reference, but maybe in a way it was true. I hid from life, from the world, and mostly from myself. Depression and quiet solitude mostly filled my days living with her. I didn't practice anything, never drew energy, and never thought upon my craft or my future.

Suspended animation is the best way to describe life in Ewa beach. We moved here and I discovered other people, all becuase of a Cruxshadows song. Hell, maybe she saw that I needed help or just thought the music playing was cool.

Goddess harmony circle entered my life, and then later Chalic circle. Suddenly I was able to immerse myself fully into my religion, and began to read about my craft again, and grew to rediscover the peace it brings me.

Now, I have a God and a Goddess, and my roommates accept and respect me, as I do them. What more can one ask for? Maybe a job that I enjoy. That would be perfect.