Suspended Animation

I wait. . . . I wait for time to pass. I spend my life waiting for something to happen, something to change. For the next month, the next year. Eternally waiting for something new to happen, the situation to change, wounds to mend, pain to heal.

Living in suspended animation has its advantages, but they are few. No one expects much out of you, but everyone loses patience, not to mention seeing you as lazy and unmotivated. They may be right. It comes and goes, this frustration of waiting. Sometimes its nice, and you know the wait's short. Others, it seems to stretch through all eternity.

The drawbacks are too numerous to count. Waiting can be boring, and is rather uneventful.

swimming all through lhe ether

Halloween happens to be my favorite holiday of the year, but always seems to be the most difficult simultaneously. It seems so hard to enjoy the holiday season, year after meaningless year.

I have felt so disconnected lately, so out of touch with reality. Almost like im drifting through a fog and cant really see the path ahead of me. Its like I am out of sync from the people around me.

Its draining to smile everyday and put om a false face, pretend that everything is ok when it really isnt, although even I cant fully define what is wrong. I feel conflicted.